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OK guys, we will be holding weekly contests where we give away some crazy unique prizes. This weeks contest involves WRITING A CAPTION for the picture below.

The Prize:

On our next shoot, we will have the girl bang out a 5 minute personalized video, intended for you. You want her to scream your name while finger banging herself? We can do that. What about just talking dirty? No Problem. For you kinky fucks out there, she can even command you to wear a diaper and soil yourself. This prize is catered just for you….if you are creative. You can be funny, mean, sarcastic, or dry witted. Its all good. You will be judged by the entire staff here at Pornpros to eliminate any cultural biases.

Here are the rules:

1) 3 submissions per user, if possible please send 1 email with all 3 submissions. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR PORNPROS LOGIN USERNAME

MY EMAIL: PORNPROSBLOG@GMAIL.COM

2) Must submit by November 5th, 2010, 12am pacific standard time. We will select the winner by the 10th.

3) Sorry you cannot request the male talent to do a show for you….unless you are a female member

GOOD LUCK GUYS.
YELLOW MENACE
PORNPROSBLOG@GMAIL.COM

I’ve been shooting porn for about 5 years now and I can say with some confidence that I have been exposed to every type of crazy fetish that people are into. Everything from black chicks with stretch marks resembling crate paper, to double penetration (very gay by the way), to smelling armpits while banging a chick missionary style. So when Brother Love, our director, told me that he likes to be humiliated and get kicked in the balls by hot chicks, my initial impression was “ok…so he likes to be roughed up a bit”. Turns out he likes to be roughed up A LOT. Like he wishes his testicles were a football and the whore is a punter for the Raiders. Luckily we had two big titted teeners Alexia Rae and Haley Cummings(click here to see them together) in the office, getting ready for a shoot. These flirty sluts have no problem fucking with a dude’s mind by telling them that he’s got the biggest cock she’s ever seen (when its the size of a twizzler), but when it comes to inflicting physical pain, it actually took a bit of cajoling. But like pit bulls, once they smell blood and started to make some solid Foot-to-Balls contact, I had to pry them away from inflicting further damage. I still cant believe he was able to conceive, TWICE, without any complications.  Vid below.

Alright as promised, more Ridiculous house rules for the whores at an unnamed Pimp’s house. You would think this is a set of rules for a strict German boarding school or something. Again, these rules are printed in bold type and posted all over the house so its not to be ignored. More to come..Awesome.

Please see a doctor

Those of you who are interested in fucking your girlfriends or wives in the ass, you’ve been warned.

Excessive Anal Sex, especially if you are well endowed, will result in the photo you see above. This, boys and girls is what we call a Prolapsed Colon. If you guys insist on having awesome anal sex, I would suggest having it with a non-significant other. You dont want your girl’s asshole to look like Sarlacc, the star wars sand creature.

For those of you who are interested in the origins of this photo, i promised the girl that I wouldn’t reveal her identity. In fact, I had pay quite a bit of money for a photo like this. I am not saying how much but it starts with 3k. Girls with a prolapsed colon, even in the porno business are akin to bigfoot: relegated to urban legends and rarely photographed. So I hope u fuckers appreciate this. you should download this and use it as a repeating image on your desktop.

We all have rules to live by. I generally live by the golden rule, “do onto others blah blah…” Apparently pimps have a much more stricter set of rules…particularly when it comes to they hoes.

The worst thing for an agent when it comes to dealing with a new girl is deflecting all the distractions and offers a hot young girl receives on a daily basis. Everything from “your agent sucks, I know someone who’s like 100 times better” to “I will be your sugardaddy and pay you 10k a month if you leave the business and move in with me.” So a lot of agents in the business offer their pad to the girls in exchange for rent. Its great for the agents because they can keep tab on the whores.

One of my porno moles texted me an image of a set of rules and regulations posted throughout the house of an unnamed pimp. Apparently these rules need to be followed with no exceptions. Girls not following the house rules get booted like a scarred up 30 year old whore. These rules may seem to be a bit Draconian, but trust me, a lot of these porn girls are not what you would call responsible, upstanding adults. Most of the time, its a clear case of if you give an inch, they will take a mile. This is only the first image/page. I will post the rest shortly.

The pornpros is a very unique office environment, its part frat house, part strip club, part prison. Our guys work pretty hard here at the office so in addition free friday lunches, we offer employee lapdances provided that we can film and humiliate them. One employee was brave enough to step forward and take one for the team. The employee, we will call him Scrub Boy, is actually the newest member of the team. Scrub Boy is responsible for the very tedious task of quality assuring our website. I think thats why he was willing to actually smell and eat some porno pussy instead of watching it on a computer monitor all day long.

I dont know if Scrub Boy was too excited or nervous about his “Lapdance with a Pornstar” but this kind gesture by the his bosses almost backfired when our pornstar (Eve Evans) pushed her teenie little taint towards Scrub Boy’s eagerly awaiting schnoz. So anxious was Scrub boy to taste the ass nectar, he forgot that he needed to maintain balance and both feet on the ground, especially when trying to steady Eve in the 69 position.

Enjoy this ridiculousness

Every seasoned whore-monger who loves to mess around with pornstars or escorts always follow these very important rules. These rules will eventually save a lot of heart ache and possibly a testicle or two. 1) Do not do sleepovers unless you live in a 500 square foot studio apartment and have no valuables, 2) do not get emotionally invested into their drama-filled lives. You will find yourself picking a fight with a 200 pound MMA fighter in a dark alley behind a chinese restaurant, 3) DO NOT get higher than a G6 on drugs and beat a girl down because you think she’s jacking your wallet. Definitely dont do that if you are charlie sheen lol.

Fortunately, we shot quite a few HARDCORE scenes with the girl in question. I’ve been told she has not done many hardcore scenes so its definitely a treat. I would imagine that the scenes are very similar to what went on between charlie and capri, except for the part about the drugs and assault. Click Here for Capri Scenes.

Link to article about the altercation he had with capri